I'm only a little kidding; I thought I had ebola.
This is what I know about the virus. It is not deadly, but what it does to your body is lethal. I guess that's the same as guns or just about anything at all. Guns aren't deadly, but when a bullet pierces the heart it's lethal. Water isn't deadly, but breathing it in sure is.
In any case, this is what I understand of how ebola works.
It comes into the body and it sneaks in the backdoor of the immune system. It shuts down the immune system's alarms, so the body goes on thinking all is well and that there's no monkey virus coursing through its veins.
Then suddenly the immune system wakes up and reacts how I did the morning of every college final ever, "oh shit oh shit oh shit". It overreacts and sends out too many virus-killing soldiers and this causes the high fevers and the organs shutting down and the bleeding from every opening. It's your own immune system that kills you.
And so I thought that Friday was the end. I was in Pittsburgh- geographically practically living with the woman who got ebola in Dallas and flew home to Cleveland and exposed her wretched disease to countless others.
I woke up feeling like I always do- tired, annoyed, but fully alive.
Then somewhere around 1pm my health took a turn for the worse. I swallowed my spit as any person does every few minutes and OUCH my throat was sore.
Then my joints started to get restless and achey.
I took a shower a little while later, which helped me to realize that my skin hurt.
I spent the rest of the day in a dizzy daze, throat sore, achey bones, and skin that hurt.
I tried to get out of the confines of my room to experience a little of world for the last time before I died and 20 minutes into the journey my fever spiked.
I thought I'd never make it back to bed alive.
And once I was in bed I didn't think I'd ever wake up again.
But I did wake up. I woke up at 3:38am and I threw up once into the bathtub. My fever and all aches and pains vanished immediately.
My throat still hurts, though, so maybe I'm not totally in the clear yet.
do you think if i recovered from ebola my bosses would let me do whatever i wanted for a little while? like, maybe i could stop coming to work but they'd keep paying me? maybe i could go on an adventure or sleep a whole lot.